I Hate Myself And Want To Die

I hate this post and hate myself for making it. It is basically the largest act of cowardice on my part that I can muster. I want to vent, and I want to say it on the internet platform, but on a stage no one watches. No one is subscribed to this blog (I have several), so in theory no one will find except by accident. And that is the fucked up thing, the is the single most passive aggressive call for help for no real emergency in the world.

I have been really sick for two years now. My depression and anxiety is the worst it has been since I was initially diagnosed with severe mental illness in 1997. I have this daily routine where from about 1 pm to 4 pm I just focus on not killing myself. I don't know what is special about the afternoon, but apparently it spikes my anxiety and makes my self esteem cave in.

Yeah, so I have also been sick for two years now. I have an incurable immune disorder that, if left untreated, would shut my kidneys down (if I didn't die from a pulmonary embolism first). The fucked up immune system creates antibodies that hurts my kidneys and makes my blood insanely prone to clotting. In fact, I have a huge blood clot behind my right knee that maybe will finally dissolve in a few decades and the doctors insist there is no sort of surgery they can do to treat that clot. So, I have major circulatory issues in my lower right leg, including deep vein thrombosis (which can be very painful).

Ha, and pain. Fucking pain. I have several pain issues stemming from this illness in a variety of ways. The worst pain comes from the deconditioned/semi-atrophied lumbar area muscles that I have been in physical therapy for on and off for this entire two years. It leaves me weak, useless, and in pain like a pathetic helpless baby.

Another great sidecar that comes from pain is my dependence on prescription pain relievers. I don't like crush them/snort them/or other methods used to get "high" on them, but I have been opioid tolerant for almost a year straight now. It is terrifying. I used to get high, and I kicked drugs once and now here I am dependent on them just to make it to the afternoon so I can cry and try not give in to the urge to kill myself.

I have been fighting with social security for about 18 months for trying to get on disability. It has been excruciating, probing, and a frustrating process. I am waiting right now for a written ruling for the initial appeal trial I had recently. Gee, nothing like a person with a fucked up social anxiety disorder trying to give testimony without spazzing the fuck out. I almost don't want to get the letter, for the past year and a half every letter I have got from Social Security has basically said, "Go fuck yourself, you fat loser.".

The urge to go seek illegal drugs has been slowly rising in me for the past few months. Hell, part of me wishes I would somehow come across some heroin, fatally overdose on it, and die having one last little happy dream.

For mercy's sake, if someone happens to stumble upon this, please click on and pretend you never saw it. I am too chickenshit to actually do any considerable harm to myself or others. Please don't try to reach out to me, please just forget this is even fucking here or that I even fucking exist. For all intents and purposes, I actually don't exist. I haven't existed since I was hospitalized in late August of 2011.

KSK Least Bowl Ballott 2012

Results to be announced at half time of the Pro Bowl!

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NFL on Fox Sent Me A Patriot Cleatus

Short version: I started following everyones favourite football robot, "Cleatus", on Twitter a few weeks ago. He is kinda funny in a kitschy sort of way. One day he tweeted a contest where if you retweeted him, you were entered for a contest to win a Cleatus Hero Figure. I retweeted just for fun, but I actually won!

Qaplah! Well, today the UPS guy shows up with a package, and lo and behold, I had received my Cleatus figure, but not as I expected! I had received the grittiest Patriot robot ever, "GREATUS".

It is simply amazing. If you read the back of the box, it details how Greatus epitomizes all of the core qualities that a True Greatriot represents: High motor, "tough as nails", scrappy, and most of all, GRITTY.

Movie Review - The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

(I swear on Durin's Beard, this pic is the extent of my backlash and spite.)

What I intend to do is give a relatively spoiler free review of the first Hobbit movie. I am going to try to point out various elaborations without "spoiling" anything, but I would warn people now that it is possible I could inadvertently reveal something YOU consider a spoiler. If that is the case, I apologize. That being said, after the review there are just a couple of things I want to spoil, so stop reading after the warning!

Those of you that are familiar with Peter Jackson's "The Lord of the Rings" movies will be comforted to see some similar cinematic effects almost right away to settle the viewer snugly back into Middle Earth. The "present" time takes place about 60 years prior to the LOTR trilogy, and Middle Earth is a calmer and cheerier place. There is little burden on the land from Mordor, and the Dwarves and Elves can afford to be snippy towards each other as they see fit, being both races proud and stubborn.

Surprise number one! Before Bilbo inadvertently hosts a large meal for 13 Dwarves and a Wizard, we are treated to an exciting history of Dwarvenkind in Erebor, and the evil of Smaug that befalls them. The Dwarves of Erebor are taken from the height of their prosperity and planted firmly low on the "food chain" of Middle Earth's free peoples.

Cue the actual beginning of "The Hobbit" now! I give credit to Martin Freeman for nailing all the "kindly, yet highly flustered" our poor Bilbo expresses by the sudden appearance of Dwarves demanding food and emptying his larder. His quaint politeness stands in an almost comedic contrast to the gruff, road-worn Dwarves making the early sequences very light-hearted and amusing.

For the viewers familiar with the book and associated material, Jackson delivers on many of the key visualizations and interactions that make the story complete. Even though there are tweaks here and there, only the most staunch and unmoving lore purist would even notice, let alone care. Poor old hapless Bilbo even forgets his handkerchief, which is unceremoniously remedied by Bofur.

One amazing aspect of the movie was the groundwork they lay for revelations concerning the "Necromancer" that is only hinted at briefly in the book. As a movie viewer, you are treated to some "behind the scenes" looks at events that will become very important in the later movies. However, because the implications are not clear for many viewers, these scenes can seem a little confusing and conflated.

By the end of the movie, the most important goal is accomplished: the upright, well-to-do, and stuffy Mr. Baggins sees fit to break free of societal norm and go on an adventure that is quite different than having afternoon tea with Old Gaffer Gamgee. There is magic, swords, legends, and dragons! Is there much more one can truly ask of a true fantasy movie?

My score is an "A-", it is a wonderful movie filled with all the Middle Earth beauty anyone could ask for, but it is not without blemish. Still, only the most cynical would let these few blemishes ruin what can be a very fun time with a Middle Earth movie that is more light-hearted than its very successful preceding trilogy.

*****

CAUTION! SPOILERS BELOW!!! STOP READING NOW!!!

*****

.

.

.

*****

YOU WERE WARNED!

*****

Spoilers! The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good

-We finally get a few glimpses of the tremendously darty and secretive Dwarf Women! Guess what? NO BEARDS! That Aragorn is such a joker!

-Azog may lead the Orcs at the Battle of Five Armies? It's looking like it!

-The White Council is shown voicing their concerns about the Necromancer, The Witch King, and Dol Guldur. 

-Radaghast the Brown makes an appearance!

The Bad

-Radaghast the Brown makes an appearance! No, your friendly writer has not lost his senses. Many will dislike the depiction of Radaghast. Even though it is cool they included him, he is a screwy character whose interpretation is very contrived. I personally found him fun, just because Radaghast was never known as the best Wizard of all and he has not the standard to live up to like Gandalf may. However, even my fellow movie-goers found him somewhat distasteful.

The Ugly

-My biggest beef with this movie is that they allow some very modern collocations of linguistics and contemporary sense of humour leak into the movie. (Particularly with the Great Goblin of Goblin Town.) About the only way it could have been worse would be having Jar Jar Binks with dreds and gang colours saying stuff like, "Thassa waz meesa saying!" or, "Aws hell nos!". I deeply resented that sort of etymology being used in the movie.

Li'l Beef Moe's New Room

The results are in, and Li'l Beef Moe is ready to get his blunt on and go Beast Mode on Half Ounces AND hos!!!

Thanks to everyone that participated.

Poll - Beef Moe's New Room

Qaplah, yintaghs! The Mighty Feklahr is coming in at warp speed with a HOT new poll for the interwebs! The situation is simple, "Little Beef Moe" from Pet Society has a new room and is making an EXCLUSIVE offer to decorate his new room by letting YOU, the internet, decide. Look through the options, and choose your favourite.

What should the theme be for Beef Moe's new room?
	"Welcome to the Jungle"
	"Legalize It"
	"Space Oddity"
	"Grillz"
	"Like a Surgeon"
pollcode.com free polls

The selection will be made on or around December 1st, 2012 with the highest vote gainer being the "theme" for the room. Will YOUR favourite win? THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT, WEAKLING! VOTE NOW!!!

Collectibles Fun - Grune the Detroyer

As of this writing, I had found a Grune the Detroyer (a moderately obscure villain from the Thundercats cartoon, but one *I* think is really cool) action figure at an antique mall for $6. For a collector nerd like me, I was in full blown "Yippee!"

Grune was in pretty rough shape, though. A lot of the paint had worn off and he was sort of grungy/cruddy in some places. This led to my decision to clean him up, touch up his paint, and even add some artistic interpretation of my own. I will give just a brief rundown of the changes and updates I made for anyone that might be interested, but I sort of hope the picture speaks for itself.

• Filled in the blank spots of his silver armour on front and back.
• Filled in the blanks spots of his black gloves and shoulder gear.
• Freshened up the red on his leg plates.
• Freshened up black and silver on boots.
• I updated his helm with some silver on the studded areas.
• I sort of blanked/whited out his eyes for a sort of ethereal appearance.
• I frosted and variates streaks in his hair to give the appearance of age.

Finally, I offer a brief yet tremendously lulzy clip of Grune from the old Thundercats cartoon. I apologize, but the user that uploaded the clip disabled embedding, though. (???)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMD8Es8Cv0s&t=23s

Roots of Fangorn - Boss Strategy Strat

Please click on image to enlarge.

I realize it looks like there is a lot going on in this diagram, but once you understand what the components are and what function the play into this battle, you and your fellowship can beat this fight with little or no hassle and get some decent loot!

As you enter the room (yellow star) you will see a large cave-like room with six roots (brown circles) and a large spider standing in front of a waterfall (dark green star). The fight will not start until the tank gets close enough to the spider (very close). Make sure everyone is in the room, because webbing will close the entrance behind you!

Once the fight starts, there are a few things to be aware of that will make a break an attempt at this fight:

1. The boss does a strong frontal AOE attack.

2. Throughout the course of the fight, small spiders will descend (light green arrows) from the ceiling to poison the roots, and if they touch a member of the fellowship they will poison them so severely that it is virtually impossible to heal through.

3. Throughout the course of the fight, the boss will randomly spit a stacking poison DOT on a fellowship member. If you get 3 or more of these poisons, it becomes very difficult to heal. If you get more than 5 of these poisons, it is almost impossible to heal.

Here are the solutions for these obstacles:

1. Our good friend, the tank (red star) will need to grab the boss (large dark green spider) and drag him over to a wall (small yellow arrows) between two of the roots. The two nearest are a good choice. The tank puts his butt up against the wall, and (theoretically) no one else gets hit by the frontal AOE.

Our other good friend, the healer (signified by the heart),  will set up shop safely away from large spider and where the initial two small spiders drop. Being near the ranged DPS (or at least where they can easily see you) is a great idea.

2. To deal with the adds, we would preferably have a strong ranged dps class (Hunter or Rune Keeper, signified by large orange triangle) and a Crowd Controller (Lore Master or Burglar). Here are some important notes for dealing with the adds:

A. Early in the fight, the add that drops near the waterfall is the most dangerous and needs to die first. The add in the cave (it spawns from where your fellowship entered the room) can be mezzed until it can be nuked down)

B. Later in the fight (reason unestablished as of this writing) a THIRD add (signified by green, dotted arrow). When this add starts coming in, it becomes primary target, waterfall secondary, cavern add third. This new add will land very close members of the fellowship and it is imperative that it is dealt with immediately. If you have more than one CC class, assign one specifically to watch for this add and keep it mez locked until it can be nuked down.

3. As the poisons add up, the ONLY way to remove them is to wait for a white text to appear on the screen that tells that one of the roots is attempting to remove the poison. The root will be glowing softly green (see diagram in lower right hand corner). You have an incredibly short window of opportunity to run to the green light (which instantly removes all poison). if you miss it, you need to go back to where you belong and wait for your next opportunity (chug a heal pot if you need to).

Miscellanea by position/class:

Tank-the only thing you have to do is keep the boss faced towards a wall. Two other things you can do if it is seemingly safe is to clear your poisons if you notice one of the roots nearby are glowing AND interrupt the boss if you see an induction and are able.

Healer-this is a tough fight to heal. However, if everyone is doing their jobs, you should not get any adds on you from healing threat. Try really hard to clear the poisons on yourself as often as possible. Hopefully there will be some type of secondary healer to help out.

Ranged DPS-you guys are the real heroes of this fight and can determine if it goes well or if it sucks. Keep in mind how you want to utilize your DPS. We want slow inductions and Damage Over Time on the boss (we don't need to kill him quickly) we want ALL fast acting nukes available for when the adds descend. Killing the adds as fast as possible is a thousand times more important than DPS on the boss. When you do dps the boss, do only single target dps. AOEs are not needed and could compromise a mezzed target and that could wipe the group.

Melee DPS-you are only doing ONE thing, long term, sustainable SINGLE TARGET dps on the boss in the white area BEHIND the boss and out of his AOE. AOEs are not needed at all and can in fact mess up mezzed adds which can wipe the group. Single target DPS the boss, and interrupt the boss if you see an induction and are able to.

CC-you should be assigned to mezzing a dropping spider. Fortify that job at the cost of almost all else. The ranged dps should be picking up and killing the waterfall dropping spider first, so the CC should be "patrolling the area (signified by blue circle) to get any and all dropping spiders mezzed. These spiders come fast enough that burglars need to run in mischief regardless of how they are traited so that their mez is up as often as possible. CCs can throw debuffs, interrupts, and single target ranged dps on the main boss, bit not at the expense of letting any of them adds through.

Finally, there are really just two things to say that summarize just what the heck needs to be done to win this fight:

1. Mezzing and killing the adds as fast as possible is more important than DPSing the boss itself. If the adds are taken care of correctly, the boss will eventually just die.

2. Clearing your poisons when you are able will make the fight a million time more survivable and less stressful on your healer(s).

Good luck!

St. Patrick's Day Feast 2012

This is a simple chronicle of my wife's valiant effort for our feast on St. Patricks' Day of 2012. The main course was a meat pie stuffed with lamb! Here it is fresh out of the oven:

Doesn't it look scrumptious?
Now here is a supper! The lamb in the meat pie was roasted with garlic and rosemary and made into filling with chopped leeks. The mashed red potatoes are flavored with buttermilk and parsley and topped with shredded applewood-smoked cheddar. The kale chips are sprinkled with olive oil and salt and baked until crispy.

Now, let's see what is cooking for dessert!
What's this? Whole wheat Irish soda bread soaking in cream and sugar...
...sweetened berries...what can we do with this?

Oh, let's just bake a bread pudding! :D Here it is straight out of the oven.
And here we are served with a cream topping. BEST ST. PATRICK'S DAY EVER? Maybe!

Review-DC Universe Online

At a Glance-DC Universe Online

Being that I grew up as a comic book AND a video game enthusiast, it was easy to decide whether or not to give DCUO a tryout. What was more difficult was tempering high expectations for a game that I hoped would really deliver for me. DCUO is a rather large departure from my gaming preferences over the last decade that was dominated heavily by games like Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, and Lord of the Rings Online. Would this flashy, pseudo-arcade-style-throwback of a super hero MMORPG be able to fill the void where swords and sorcery have dwelt so long?

Premise (Minor Potential Spoilers)

When you begin DCUO, the inhabitants of the DC Universe are about to take an unforeseen evolutionary step. To avoid the potential devastation of Earth, future events unfold that sends super-powers to the past (our present) amongst recipients all over the world. Suddenly, normal, every day people like you and I are being imbued with these super-powers, and we must turn to Earth's greatest heroes (or villains) to learn how to harness and utilize these powers that we may help avoid the grim annihilation the future has in store for us.

Review

I would like to take a brief moment here to iterate that the scope of this review isn't a "top to bottom" look at DCUO. My intention is to give a stark look into what my first weekend with DCUO looked like, my initial impressions, and some of the things you can expect to see and do. I probably played about 8 hours in total over the weekend. So, even though it is an incomplete picture, it is a scrutinized look of what you get when you walk through the door.

Starting the Game: Character Creation

Other than strictly cosmetic choices, creating your character consists of four major choices:

I. Super-Powers
A. "Tanking" Subset-these powers inherently give your character tougher physical abilities so you can be on the front lines of battle.
1. Fire
2. Ice
B. "Control" Subset-a choice from these powers will enable you to incapacitate, knock-back, or otherwise stun your enemies. You will not be as sturdy as your tanking counterparts, but you will be able to defend yourself well.
3. Mental/Telekinesis
4. Gadgets/Technology
C. "Support/Heal" Subset-those that wield powers in this subset will be able to bolster and heal their companions as well as summon defenders to help in the fight.
5. Sorcery
6. Nature

II. Weapons
One of the great things about DCUO is that, regardless of your super-power choice or role, all classes get a weapon and can DPS. There are advantages and disadvantages to every weapon type, and one will want to consider their super power when making a weapon choice (for example, a melee weapon might be better for a tank type that can sustain more incoming damage from the fray).

As a whole, weapon choice is very balanced and there is no single weapon you can point to and say, "This does the most damage." In fact, you can choose the one that "sounds most fun" to you and feel confident you aren't being penalized because the uber leets are running "Weapon A".

For a complete list of weapons, please refer here:

http://www.dcuniverseonline.com/weapons.vm

III. Mode of Transportation
Now that we are ready to kick booty, how are we going to get there? DCUO offers the following for comic-inspired movement:
A. Flying
B. Fast Running (Think The Flash or Quicksilver) This includes the ability to run up walls at great speed.
C. Acrobatics-I have just been calling this "Spiderman" (Peter Parkour?), climb walls and jump from building to building.

IV. Mentor
Your choice of mentor will dictate the types of missions you get to start out with.
A. Heroes
1. Batman
2. Wonder Woman
3. Superman
B. Villains
1. Circe
2. Joker
3. Lex Luthor

For the record, I made a total of four toons and took them through the intro sequence. I subsequently chose a hero and finished up the initial Gotham/Scarecrow quest line (to about level 7), and started the initial villain quest line to about level 5. Here are the builds I toyed with:

Fire->2 Handed Weapon->Flying (This guy was so tough he was practically invincible in the intro.)

Sorcery->Martial Arts->Super Speed (A very exciting build, even if Sorcery wasn't necessarily the best choice for a melee fighter, a little squishy.)

Mental->Hand Blasters->Acrobat (I only had to play this build ten seconds to realize this is what I wanted. This became my main hero, "KidMasterBlaster".)

Gadgets->Rifle->Acrobat (Another really solid build, this became the villain I tested.)

Starting the Game-Intro Sequence

We all know the drill here, our n00b toon gets babysat through a Carebear solo instance and fights gingerbread men wielding lollipop weapons, right? WRONG! DCUO probably has one of the more interesting and visually-striking openings of any game I have played. Even though there are tutorial hints dropped in at certain times (like when you level up), it is not so didactic that you feel like the game is preaching to you as if you were an illiterate moran. (Intentional, I swear!)

(Potential Spoilers)

You start out on board a spaceship that you want to escape from. A communicator chimes in to help give you directions to get out. The catch? Just a bazillion of Terminator robots on steroids between you and the exit.

I was real pleased that DCUO decided to put so much initial quality in the intro area to really hook you into the setting and the story. The spaceship is beautiful and you get to explore it in all three dimensions up and down various corridors, maintenance chutes, and what have you.

The patrol mobs, for the most part, are pretty soft (a trend that continues until about level 6). Even when you seemingly get in over your head, you can usually button-mash your way out of bad spots. However, there is one pull about 3/4 through the intro that can be a little tricky if you aren't careful.

The intro finishes with a cool rumble in the spaceship where a "friend" will show up to help you battle through several waves of patrol robots. It's a very therapeutic and exciting fight, mash them metal freaks into scrap!

Starting the Game-Settling In Back On Earth

Now that you are free, you will find yourself in "headquarters". The tutorial will have you look around the shop and the mail room, and then send you out into the real world to start the questing! Good luck!

A More Pragmatic Look At Things

So, now that you have a better idea of what this game is about, I am just going to point out a series of pros and cons regarding anything from forums and UI to quest lines and server activity.

Cons (since I would like to end on a positive note, I will start with the negatives)

-My one biggest beef, that is really just a personal preference but it bothered me all the same, is that my first mission as a villain in Gotham was to go kill cops. I just didn't like it. I doubt I will ever play villain much (if at all) anyway, but it chagrined me that it was an option.

-Controller vs. keyboard: I have seen on the forums many criticisms of the player controls, and have had unbiased third party testimony to the same. Even though I personally do not find the UI difficult at all, I can understand how people could feel limited. There isn't a whole lot that can be done to meaningfully remap the keyboard, and I wasn't able to do anything worthwhile to set up my controller the way I would have preferred.

-One minor aspect that was also a bit of a disappointment was how...chesty they decided to make all the female character models. I mean, I understand it's comic books, but there are a lot of interesting female comic characters (past and present) that have more to offer than their busts.

-As of this writing, the game has been live for barely six days. They have experienced some rather predictable server downtime. Some people deal with this better than others. Which leads me to...

-Forum whiners: Same dime a dozen crap you see on any MMO forum. Switch out the name of the game/company and the arguments are identical. I wish there was something constructive that could be done to change the culture on MMO forums, but as long as there are raged out, entitled, pampered, snotty, idiotic lolkids, there is going to be unfortunate ignorant garbage spewed on the forums. However, this sort of works as a good segue into the "Pros"...

Pros

-Aside from the whiners, there was a really great Beta community. They put up a ton of great stuff on the forums and had a vault of useful information they passed along. They had a really upbeat and gung-ho attitude and are a great asset to the community.

-I was taken away by the ability to customize your appearance. This game offers the kind of choices I used to dream about for character customization. It is a really brilliant design, and I love it.

-The game plays SMOOTH. I personally experienced no lag at any point, or even skipping in the most rudimentary sense.

-Simply put, the game is cool. Just really cool. It looks great, plays exciting, and is just flat out fun.

In Conclusion

In case it hasn't been made obvious in the course of discussion here, I generally view DC Universe Online favourably...very favourably. It has been a refreshing departure from the more "classic style" MMOs, and the DC/Warner Brothers product is one that has been very interesting the past ten years (movies/cartoons/games).

I feel a little silly trying to score this game when I have such a superficial experience with it at this point, but if someone put a hand blaster to my head and made me scribble down a score, it would look something like this:

8.75/10.0 - If you are interested in comics in even the most pedestrian sense and enjoy video games, you will have a hard time NOT enjoying DC Universe Online. Once they get over some of the "growing pains" of a new game going live, this title has all the potential in the world to become more than just a niche game. I have not encountered anything that has made me regret spending the $50 to get going. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Please click on any of the screenshots below to enlarge them.

Tech specs (my rig):

Alienware M15x

Intel Core i3-330M 2.13GHz (3M cache)

4GB Dual Channel DDR3 at 1066MHz 2 x 2048MB

1GB DDR3 ATI Radeon Mobility HD 5730

250GB SATAII 7,200RPM

3 Things In Movies I Cannot Do

Darn movies and their cliffhangers! There are three movie cliffhangers that I am neurotic about leaving unresolved. They are:

1. Leaving Spock dead on Planet Genesis-If I don't watch STIII within 24 hours of STII, I go nuts. YOU CAN'T LEAVE SPOCK DEAD!!!
2. Leaving Han Solo encased in carbonite-Luke, Leia, Chewy and the gang totally have to rescue him from Jabba. Period.
3. Leaving Gandalf in Moria with the Balrog-if nothing else, you have to watch the most epic beatdown as Gandalf solos a Balrog. Solos. A. Balrog.
   

Guy'cha!

My car got hit last night! Mega frownies. :*(

UPDATE! Mega Klingon frownies! }}:>(

UPDATE 2!! Ha! Insurance company wants to total it and send me a check. OH WHA AH AH AH!

Movie Review-The Wrestler

Those that have read my Dark Knight review know that I am a pretty "blue collar" movie reviewer. All I am really qualified to talk about is what I notice and remember from movies. This review will not be as purposely spoiler free as my DK review, just because I want to talk openly about the movie.

The Wrestler is a movie about a man that Father Time is catching up with. His fast and furious lifestyle as a top-draw pro-wrestler in the 80s is catching up to him as he works for twenty bucks in a grade school gym between shifts at the grocery store, thus we are introduced to Randy the Ram.

Anyone that has ever been broke and down on their luck immediately identifies with The Ram. He can't make his rent, sleeps in his van, his daughter hates him, he has a prescription pill habit, and the closest thing he has to a girlfriend is a regular girl at the "gentleman's club".

Nevertheless, his "public" still adores him. Even if he is wrestling to a crowd of 20, The Ram is still on top! Even the neighborhood kids love him, there is a great scene where a bunch of little boys are banging on his van and wake him up, he comes out like he's all pissed, but then he "wrestles" them all as the "bad guy" (even "chokeslams" one of the kids), and they all start laughing.

The "human" element of this movie is undeniable. In a way, it is like a pseudo-documentary, with the camera following Randy the Ram around during a key time in his life. You see, one of the major plot drivers is that the Ram has a heart attack after a grueling hardcore match (complete with shattered glass, staples, and barbed wire). After the ensuing bypass surgery, the doctor tells Randy the Ram he's done...no more wrestling.

This keys off the drama of the movie. Randy wants to end the rock and roll lifestyle, make up with his daughter, and turn a stripper into a housewife...all while working 9 to 5 at the grocery deli counter.

There are some really great scenes in this movie, some touching, some hilarious, some painful. Here is a brief rundown of some of my absolute favorites:

• "Marking out for the Ram"-During his hardcore match, Ram puts a trashcan over his opponent and is going to whatck him with a chair out in the middle of the audience. This kid yells, "No, use my leg!", and pulls off his prosthetic leg. The whole crowd goes apeshit and chants, "Use his leg! Use his leg!" Sure enough, "WHAMMO!", the guy in the trashcan got the leg!
• "Don't you knock?"-Randy goes to the grocery store manager's office to ask for more hours (after his heart attack). He goes in without knocking only to find the manager watching some filthy porno on his computer! Ooops!
• The entire set with his daughter and him on the boardwalk, and dancing...just...wow.
• "Wanna party?"-During his short-lived retirement, Ram goes to party with some of the guys after a show. A girl recognizes him as a wrestler, several drinks and lines of coke later he wakes up half naked at her house with fireman boots on! (Hilarious scene!)
• "Wanna play Nintendo?"-Ram has one of the kids over to play NES shortly after he gets home from his heart attack. I don't know why, I just like the scene.
  

With all that said, my favorite scene was Ram's first shift at the deli counter after his "retirement", or more specifically, him getting ready for it. They show him in the break room putting on an apron and a hair net, then walking down the hall to go through the plastic curtains to the deli, but it is portrayed like he is getting dressed for a match, and as he gets closer to the curtain, the roar of the crowd picks up. It was really intense!

Before I sign off here, here is a list of things I would be remiss to not mention:

1. Marisa Tomei was great in this and HOTTER than hell. Let's just say it was akward watching this with my mom a couple times.
2. The music in this movie bangs. I'd probably put this third on my all time fave soundtrack list behind "The Crow" and "The Devil's Rejects".
3. Very good wrestling choreography in this movie, didn't look "Hollywood" at all.
4. Another thing I just happen to notice was how well the wardrobe in the movie was played out. It's funny how much a good wardrobe helps a good movie.

Well, I didn't say everything that could be said about The Wrestler, but I said all I saw fit to say. You don't even have to be a wrestling fan to like it (but wrestling fans will adore it). QAPLAH!

I miss Mum

Today is my fourth wedding anniversary. It was eight years ago on roughly this day that my wife and I, then just "cyber-friends", first expressed our true feelings for each other.

As I got to know my wife and her family, I found out that her mother had recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. I drew the picture/cartoon here for her to show my support.

My wife's mom, my mother-in-law (or just plain old "Mum" as we all called her) was very supportive of my relationship with my wife and was totally instrumental in arranging our marriage.

We lost mum a few weeks ago (9/1/08) to the cancer. For whatever reason, even though this is the day I married my wife (whom I absolutely adore), I can't help but think of Mum this year. I miss her a lot.

At last! A taste of the Dirty Hairy Lite IPA!!!

Well, the time finally came to have a taste of that wonderful brew! How will all the hard work turn out?

The Malted Hops Jedi Master did another great job with the labels (that is my little nephew pictured). I was giddy to get the bottle opened and try a cold pour!




Mmm...would you look at that? The color turned out to be a lot more amber than I had originally thought, but boy did it turn out nice! It was a very full bodied beer with a load of subtle, little carbonation bubbles. The malt and hops were really nicely balanced, and it made for a very smooth and delicious draught of beer.

It was a once in a lifetime (well, until we brew it again!) chance to try the ale we had brewed that 4th of July. It's gone now, but it will be remembered forever.

(Consequently, yes, that is a bottle of Glenlivet 18 year single malt scotch in the background...perhaps the only thing that could overshadow a good homebrew!)

Sweet! Send your name into outer space!

My friend, Gumby the Cat, has a cool link where you can add your name to a list that will be shot into outer space via DVD by NASA!

You even get a swell Certificate of Participation you can download:

Dirty Hairy Salutes "The Dark Knight"

Those who know me know that I avoid the hype machine the best I can, and I bandwagon as little as possible. So, instead of echoing all of the great things you have been hearing about The Dark Knight (TDK), let me just tell you a few of the things I noticed when I went to view it. (Spoiler free.)

First, TDK was a very captivating movie. I never took my eyes off the screen, even for a second. In fact, I had to remind myself to blink several times throughout the presentation.

There was a great deal of suspense during the movie, and there were several little "shocks" that made me feel like I was watching a horror movie instead of a "comic book" movie. In fact, rarely do modern horror movies get me to jump in my seat like TDK did.

It seems like the supporting cast (ie: Freeman, Caine, Gyllenhaal, Oldman) had a keen understanding of their roles, and were exceptionally careful not to draw attention away from the top players of the cast (Ledger, Bale, Eckhart).

Now, when I listed the main cast, you may have noticed Heath Ledger's name was put first. It was deliberate. Whether by design or fate, this was Heath Ledger's movie, and he stole the show. With as much as Christian Bale did to make Batman Begins special, Ledger came right back and challenged that performance. I feverishly want to avoid any cheesy sounding anecdotes about his performance as The Joker, but I feel compelled to voice the "idea" I experienced during the move, and simply put it felt like Heath Ledger haunted the movie with his depiction of The Joker. When he was on the screen during this film, your eye was involuntarily drawn to him. That is pretty much all there is to it.

So, in summary, The Dark Knight was a very well put together film that had one of the best (and most tragic) single performances on screen. I can easily recommend this knowing that anyone that does not like this movie has the problem, not the movie.

Bottling the brew!

Now that our brew, unofficially named the "Phantom Dirty Hairy Lite Ale" has percolated in our bucket long enough, it is time to bottle it!



First, the bottle caps are boiled to sterilize them.





Next, the priming sugar (to create carbonation) is added to water and heated until clear.



The fermenting bucket is opened (looks bad, but smells great according to Malted Hops Jedi Master).



The beer is siphoned off into the "bottling bucket".



Another gravity test is performed (to determine alcohol %), and the initial readout of about 6% looks to be spot on!



The filling tube goes from the filling bucket to the bottles.





After filled, the bottles are capped.



The end result?

• 18 x 12 oz. bottles
• 19 x 22 oz. bottles

They will be ready to drink in about 3 weeks. Can't wait to try one!!!

Rascal Birthday Present

My mom is getting a poster of this for her birthday. It is her dog, Rascal, imposed upon "Starry Night".

Beers I drank on vacation

On the same vacation to New Hampshire that I sat in on the brewing process, I also had the opportunity to sample some of the Malted Hops Jedi Master's brews! (And a few others, too.)



This is the (in)famous Diablo brew! Maybe not the flashiest of the beers, it certainly had the most kick. Smooth as a baby's bottom, too.



After a long and hazardous winter, the malted Hops Jedi Master brewed this fine brown ale. Not too bitter, not too sweet, but JUST RIGHT.



Another fine home-made brown ale. This one is a little more "classic" in flavour than the previous brown ale (a little more robust and bitter).



This was a decent "American Ale", I kind of picked it out at random to give it a try.



Of course, Malted Hops Jedi Master had some Sam Adams on hand!



Empties! The natural byproduct of beertasting. :)